We may not be friends. I may not know you and you may not know me. We don’t have the same gifts, the same talents, or the same areas we are working to grow. We don’t share the same struggles, the same pain, or the same experiences that have molded us into who we are today.

But if I had to guess, I would say that you and I are more alike than we may seem at first glance. If you are a mom and a wife, you likely have a lot on your shoulders. You feel the pressure of keeping a clean house, taking care of everyone’s needs, furthering your career, and remembering all the things. You want to give love, kindness, time, attention, and appreciation to others away freely and also fully receive these things in return but often you feel as if you are failing despite your constant attempts to do better.

Often as women, we feel like we need to “have it all together”. We mentally make comparisons of one another and then set up unrealistic expectations based on an often limited view of the situation. We are our own worst enemy, self-doubter, and judge. 

What if instead of striving for the unachievable, we started focusing on what we are doing well, what we are getting right, and the growth and progress we are making? What if we started being intentional about acknowledging our successes instead of never being satisfied with who we are becoming?  

I am a perfectionist. It gets me into a lot of trouble. Mostly with myself. 

I want my house to be organized and decluttered and look next to perfect in cute little organizing tubs. I want the mess to be put away immediately after the “fun” happens and for everything I own to have a home. I want my home to be ready for guests at a moments notice. Since I live with four tiny humans, my standards of HGTV-organizing-perfection have lowered, to say the least. Instead of perfectly organized, I am mostly organized. 

I want to meal plan every week, feed my family loads of fruits and veggies and cook a dinner they all love and willingly eat (without complaining) each day. I want to be creative in the kitchen and spend hours making homemade bread and ketchup and peanut butter from scratch. That is just a fleeting fantasy for our busy household. I am mostly a good cook and meal planner, but it looks nowhere close to perfect. 

I want to regularly stay on top of all the household things and do it all perfectly. I want the laundry to always be folded and put away as soon as it is finished in the dryer and for it never to pile up into the forbidden “clean-clothes-of-procrastination-mountain” that ensues after avoiding the chore for several days. I want the dishes to never pile up in the sink and for me to constantly go through messes that come up. It has taken me quite a few years to now feel confident in the home life we have, one where I am successful at mostly staying on top of the chores in our lives. This leaves room for spontaneity and a change of plans. I am mostly a good homemaker. 

I want to remember all the appointments, activities, and schedules for everyone in my family. I want everyone to have what they need, when they need it and not have any bumps and hiccups along the way. I don’t ever want to forget to sew on the Girl Scout patches, schedule parent teacher conferences, buy the new soccer accessories, or to bring the preschool snacks. Since we don’t live in some sort of fantasy land of perfection, clearly I am only mostly put together when it comes to our family’s schedule. 

I also want to be a reliable friend who my friends can count on and go to for advice. I want to be the “fun” friend that is up for adventure, nights out and shopping trips on a whim. I used to think that if I wasn’t keeping everyone happy all of the time,  I was somehow failing in all areas. Now I realize that it is okay to be mostly a great friend who prioritizes family but also keeps a healthy balance of family/friend time. 

I wish I was thriving in every aspect of my life. But the truth is that I’m not. Not even close. I fail every single day. But what sets MOSTLY THRIVING women apart in this world is the stamina that we have to keep on going despite our failures. 

You see, when we fail we grow. Sometimes we grow in an area we didn’t even know we needed to. We can learn from our mistakes, pick ourselves back up again, and keep on going! 

When we recognize and accept who we are and our strengths, we become more confident women who can thrive as moms, as wives, and as friends. I hope you know that you don’t have to be perfect.  You are perfectly imperfect. Accept who you are as a busy wife and mom and celebrate the fact that you are MOSTLY THRIVING!