10 Mom Hacks to maintain a peaceful home

Have you ever wished that there was an 8th day of every week just to get caught up?? I have! It feels like there is ALWAYS more to do and there is never enough time in the day. Moms are probably some of the busiest humans on earth. We often feel behind and because we take care of so many people besides ourselves, our work is never done.

After years of spinning my wheels, striving for perfection to get caught up, I have learned to be okay with the busyness of life. Unfortunately that 8th day isn’t ever going to come so I recognize that I have to let some things go. And for the necessary things in life, I need better systems to make them work with the time I do have.

Let me share some of the ways I have learned to cope with the busyness of life as a mom in order to maintain a more peaceful home.

1. Go through papers as soon as you get them (mail, kid’s papers, etc.)

It is easy to get behind on paperwork because there are SO many things! Between mail, bills, tax forms, coupons, coloring pages, art projects, cards, homework etc. it all can feel very overwhelming and easy to get lost under the mountain of papers that come into our home.

My husband and I used to put all of the mail and papers into a pile on our kitchen counter, off to one side, and I would wait till I couldn’t stand the pile anymore to finally go through it. It took me forever and I also hated staring at the ugly pile of indecision that plagued our home. So I decided to make a change. Now, instead of letting papers pile up, I go through them immediately. It has not only made me happier to no longer look at an ugly pile on the counter, but it has forced me to deal with things in smaller doses which makes me less stressed overall.

Mail: When I get the mail, I take the two minutes that it takes to open it. I promise, that’s it. Two minutes! It is mostly junk anyway. I put the junk mail in the recycling bin and anything that needs my attention I put into my designated spot on my home office desk for “mail”. A couple times a month I take care of the important items like bills or other things that need attention. The simple task of immediately going through the mail helps keep things better organized, avoids forgetting about something important that may get lost in an otherwise mess of mail. Try doing this too…I promise, you’ll never go back!

Kid’s Creations: It brings me so much joy to get cute hand-written notes, a beautifully colored page or a pretty art project from my sweet kids. We often both smile as they tell me about their creation and I tell them how special it is to me. I keep it for a few days (often hanging on our playroom bulletin board). But after a certain amount of time, the majority of it ends up in the kid’s coloring graveyard (i.e. hidden under other recycling where my kids can’t find it).

If I kept all the things my four kids made me, I would need a second home just to have enough room for all the papers! If something is sentimental such as a handprint or a personalized message, I keep it in a special “keep” folder I made for each of my children. That is my criteria…it needs to have something that is irreplaceable like a handprint or something about their feelings/thoughts during a certain phase of life (like during the pandemic).

My kids know that I love what they make but they also know I can’t keep everything. It is healthy to teach your kids that they need to let things go after a certain amount of time.

Homework/School papers: When my kids come home from school each day, they get out their school folders and show me any papers they brought home. And let me tell you, they generally have about 5o papers a week that they want me to look at. I love seeing what they’ve been working on. I comment on it, ask them questions about it, go over tests and quizzes, and look at creations they made. I pull out anything that is super meaningful to them to put in their “keep” folders and then I recycle the rest (most of it). Almost immediately. This is not a secret from them because they know that this is our process. It has become a routine for us.

Occasionally I go through the files and weed out even more things. I ask myself if it will be special to them one day or if I just think it is cute right now. Realistically I like to keep about 10 things per grade level/year of their life. Added up over time, that is still A LOT of memories and will give them plenty of special things to go through when they are older.

Dealing with the paper that comes into our home almost immediately has regained my sanity and helped me no longer feel like I’m drowning in mail and art projects.

2. Keep A Grocery List Accessible To The Entire Family

Grocery shopping used to be a very dreaded weekly task in our household. I have made many improvements over the years to this necessary endeavor, one of which is using Walmart Grocery Pick up (Read more about Grocery Pick Up HERE!). When it came time to grocery shop each week, I would wrack my brain trying to think about what we needed, what I was going to make for dinner or sometimes, I would feel overwhelmed and head to the store without a list at all. NOT recommended by the way!

I would end up with way more food than I needed and ended up throwing out half of it before it went bad because I didn’t think through what we would actually be able to eat in a week’s time.

So when I made a change to how I plan our weekly meals I started doing three things:

(1) Meal planning
(2) Grocery Shopping Online
(3) Keeping a grocery list available for everyone to add to it at any time.

I have seen this done in other homes with a simple magnetic notepad on the refrigerator but we use a chalkboard that is in our pantry. I add to it during the week as I am cooking, or I have my kids write what they need/want on the list as well. I even tell my husband to add to it when he thinks of things. By doing this, I no longer have random pads of paper around everywhere AND it gives my family ownership for adding to the list.

3. Before Bed Each Night, Do A Quick Clean Up/Tidy Session

I absolutely LOVE walking downstairs after a night’s sleep to see my living room and kitchen clean and tidy! It fills me with joy and immediately puts me in a great mood! The opposite is also true. When I come downstairs and toys are strewn about and dishes are piled up in the sink, I tend to start out in a bad mood.

The best way I have found to make sure this is my reality is to get my family involved and to clean everything up before everyone goes upstairs to bed. After dinner clean-up is a family affair, often with music while dishes are cleared from the table and food is put away.

I run the dishwasher EVERY day! With having a large family I fill it full every day but even if you don’t, I suggest you do the same (as long as it is nearly full). Starting with clean dishes in the morning is also a nice way to begin. My kids can help in the morning before school if they have time which is a big help for me! When they help, often we have dishwasher races to see if we can beat our family unload time. Our current record is 1:59 seconds.

We do the same with toys or items around the house. Everyone is responsible for taking their things to their room or putting them back in their appropriate places. If you have small kids, I suggest you do a clean up at the end of every night rather than trying to follow them around like a personal toy picker-upper.

Cleaning up our home each night has saved my sanity and also encouraged my family to take ownership for their own things. If you need some help getting started organizing, check out this post about How to Organize Almost Anything.

4. Find A Laundry System That Works For You And Stick To It!

If I could pick ONE chore to never have to do again in my life, it would be laundry! My husband actually suggested getting a “laundry maid” at one point when we had tiny babies and despite me telling him how ridiculous that was (and way too expensive), it sounds like heaven! I’m telling you, laundry used to be the bane of my existence!

I still do not like laundry BUT after many years of struggling through the literal mountains of laundry piled up in my laundry room at any given time, I have found a system that works for me. I have talked to a lot of my friends who have different systems so I’ll share a couple here:

Daily Laundry– This system means that you start a load (or two) each day and fold/put away that load the same day. I have gone through phases where this works but as soon as I have a busy week it goes out the window. This may work for you though! Sheets/Towels etc. can be done on any of these days in addition to the “daily” load.

Laundry Day-This system involves saving all the laundry in your family for a single day and dedicating that day as “laundry day”. That means that you do your best to keep the washer and dryer going until it is all folded and put away. This can also be spread over two days if a single day of the week does not fit in your schedule. In order for this system to be effective it is important that you have a schedule and don’t neglect if for too long. My issue with this system is that I got way too overwhelmed with having five or six baskets of laundry to fold at once and I felt like a failure before, during and after the process because it took so much time and energy.

Family Do-it-yourself– This is the most amazing and effective system that has worked for our family! If you would have told me a few years ago I could get my 10, 8 and 5 year olds to do their own laundry, I might have rolled my eyes and changed the subject (okay, not really! Ha!). But when a friend of mine with kids similar ages told me that she taught her kids to do their own laundry, I decided it couldn’t hurt to try! AND IT WORKED!!

Over the past few years, I had already had the kids help me fold laundry. We made it a “fun” activity by putting on a movie and folding on my bed together. It made the painful process slightly more tolerable but still took FOREVER and was a constant battle of “That’s not mine” and “I did more than she did”. So instead of playing that game, I started completely separating their laundry. They do not mix laundry with one another so that only their clothes are a load. This means that when it’s clean, only their laundry has to be folded and no complaining/blaming can ensue!

I do not have a super tight system for the day they do their own laundry, which is the beauty of it. It has forced them to be more responsible in keeping an eye on how much laundry they have and starting it when their laundry basket is full or when they decide they want particular clothes clean.

In addition, they no longer throw tons of clothes in the laundry that were never worn but somehow ended up on the floor because they know THEY are responsible for washing them!

Training/Teaching them to do their laundry took a bit of time. My 10 year-old-son “washed” many loads without soap, only to discover this once they were completely dry they still smelled like a boy’s locker room. (Gross!–don’t worry, he rewashed it!). He almost never forgets anymore. My daughters have left their loads in the washer too long and had to rewash because of the stench. But overall, it has gone quite well!

Even though my kids each “do their own laundry”, I certainly partner with them to keep the process going. I will switch loads if they are headed to school and won’t be around. Sometimes, I will take a load out of the dryer and put it in the basket as a “I’m-ready to-be-folded gift” for when they get home from school. And I help them if they have a lot going on but the key difference is that I am helping them, not that they are helping me. My kids have ownership of their laundry which has been a game-changer for our family.

Even with my three big kids doing their own laundry, I still have plenty of laundry each week between my husband, our baby, myself, sheets/towels etc. But having three out of the six people in our home doing their own laundry has helped SO MUCH!!

5. Get Up Earlier Than Your Family

When you’re living in a busy and fast-paced season you have to take responsibility for making peace and quiet happen. In my house, there is little peace and quiet once everyone is awake! When I am struggling to find time to read my Bible or do the things I know I want to do, it’s time to start waking up earlier.

If you have early risers, this is easier said than done! I definitely have done this more successfully during times when I didn’t have newborns. So if you have a newborn at home, just skip to #6 and don’t feel guilty!! Your time will come when this is a reality for you again! Believe me, I’ve been through it with four babies!

Do what puts you in a good mood FIRST THING– For some of us that means drinking a cup of coffee (with mostly cream). For others, it means getting in some movement, reading your bible, responding to emails or starting a load of laundry. Do whatever it is that you need to do to make you feel successful. Because when you feel successful, you want to continue forward.

Adapt waking up earlier to your reality- If you already wake up super early and the thought of waking up any earlier is hard to imagine, I still encourage you not to ignore this idea. It doesn’t have to be an hour before everyone. Even just 5-10 minutes of peace and quiet can help set the tone for your day!

For a season, my kids would literally wake up the minute I put my feet on the floor. It was like they had super-human hearing and knew the minute I was out of bed. So instead of stepping out of bed, I decided that I would set my alarm and stay in bed for 10 extra minutes reading my Bible (on my phone) before getting up! And it worked!

Now that my kids aren’t babies anymore (our youngest is 2), I am able to get up before my kids on most days, which helps me get this time I need. I notice a huge shift in my mood when I sleep in and my kids are the ones waking me up.

Also keep in mind that you may not be able to wake up earlier than your family and have extra time every day of the week. Give yourself permission to adapt this plan to how it best fits your schedule. Maybe you can only do this on the weekends or one day a week. That’s okay! Do what you can! I promise, you will like having some extra time to yourself!

6. Practice Self-Care Every Day

The biggest misconception about self-care is that it is selfish. After everyone else is taken care of, often moms find that they are too wiped out to take the time for themselves but daily self-care is extremely important for overall health and well-being.

We give and give and give, and we have nothing left to give because we do not take the downtime to fill back up. Again, just like doing what you enjoy first thing in the morning, your “self-care” will look different than another mom simply because you enjoy different things and perhaps you even have different needs. Your self-care doesn’t have to look like the next person’s.

Honestly though, figuring out what I enjoy and what I can do to refresh has been an ongoing struggle. I feel like I have not focused on “me” much at all for so long that I have lost a little bit of who I was before and what I enjoy. And in talking to other moms, this is pretty common.

Before kids, you often don’t have to think about self-care as much. But post-babies, you have to be intentional and scheduled about this time.

I’m currently on a journey to figure out what fills me up. One thing I enjoy doing is writing. I also like to spend time with close friends. When I can slip away, I also enjoy taking a bath and watching a show to relax. I have friends who refresh by reading or doing a crafty project. It’s okay to not know, but it is important to try several things to see how you feel refreshed and to make time for yourself.

7. Create A Family Command Center (Stamps, Pens, Paper Etc.)

We have a walk-in pantry that has a desk in it. In the past it was the “catch all” for hiding random mail etc. when people came over. I would have a big clean out every few months but had trouble maintaining the mess because nothing had a specific home.

We also used to have a “junk” drawer that housed all our randomness like pens/pencils, pads of paper, stamps, random batteries, bandaids etc. If you needed something, you likely could find it in the “junk” drawer but you had to search a little in order to find it.

Then I decided enough is enough. I wanted all my everyday essentials to have a “home” and to know where it was when I needed it. This is where our Family Command Center comes in.

After about losing my mind over the chaos that would ensue in my pantry desk, I took matters into my own hands. I decided everything needed a “home” and everyone in the family needed to know where things went so they can return them to their proper place when they were finished.

Check out my advice on “How to Organize Almost Anything” HERE to see a more detailed method for what I did to organize.

I got a desk organizer to hold my scissors, stamps, pens etc. I have a specific place to put mail and things that need my attention (rather than getting lost in a random pile on my counter). I put up a chalkboard so my family can add grocery items they need rather than me trying to remember all the “mom, we need ____ next time you go to the store” requests. I put all the things my family uses on a regular basis in one area, clearly labeled and easy for them to find.

Now our “junk” drawer is full of things we use regularly and organized in a visible way so we can find exactly what we need when we need it. We put hair accessories for my girls in it since I do their hair at breakfast, batteries so we can easily change them when needed, furniture sliders for the bottom of stools, a lint roller, nail file, bandaids, a mini screwdriver and lots of other random every day items.

We have maintained this command center area for over a year. It doesn’t always look perfect and it takes me going through things occasionally to declutter and make sure all the things are back in their places. But the stress of having messy drawers and desk are behind us.

8. Look Ahead On Your Calendar And Think About What’s Coming Next (Be Proactive Vs. Reactive)

I remember the day I would be running to the store last minute to get Valentine’s for my kids the night before, scrambling to find a babysitter for a night out with friends and purchasing a last minute birthday present for one of my kid’s birthday parties.

It wasn’t that I necessarily forgot things (although that happened too) but more that I would put things on my calendar and forget about them until they were about to happen.

Then a few years ago I realized that this reactive approach (and added stress) was not good for me and not the way I wanted to live. Instead, I decided I needed to do a better job at looking ahead at the calendar.

So now, at the start of each week, I look ahead to see what I have coming up. I also look at the month as a whole to remind myself of the things that will be coming my way in the near future. I try my best to plan ahead for things like sending out birthday cards, getting groceries for meals I know I plan to make and gifts I need to purchase. I think through logistics of scheduling things like who is taking one kid to the game while another kid needs to go to a birthday party. I schedule a babysitter when necessary.

Looking ahead at my schedule has also given me the chance to see my schedule as a whole rather than as isolated events, which has in turn allowed me to say “no” to the things that will be overwhelming. I used to think of each event/task I put on my calendar in isolation but NOW I realize that all of them together create a collective schedule that creates the rhythm in which we live. If we have something going every night of the week, we will feel busy and out of control.

We now plan for down time and family nights. We purposely put place holders on the calendar for date-nights BEFORE our schedule fills up so that we do the most important things first and allow the other things to fill in around it. And I don’t hesitate to say no if it looks like that week will just be too busy. My motto for the past couple years has been, “If it feels overwhelming in advance, it will be even worse at the time”. If I hesitate to say “yes” beforehand because it feels stressful, I realize that there is a reason and I need to listen to that feeling rather than ignore it.

Thinking about my schedule in advance and being more proactive has made a world of a difference for me in allowing me to better Thrive in my life!

9. Get Help In The Areas You Need It

If you’re like me, you may struggle to let other people help you! You may even struggle to admit to yourself when you need help. You may reason with yourself that you “should” be able to do it all!

Well, let me just tell you that you SHOULD allow others to help you and it does not mean you have failed or that you are not capable. It simply means that you are learning what you have margin for and when you should allow some things to be better handled by others.

A mentor of mine told me, “Do everything only YOU can do and let others help with the rest”. Now you likely aren’t going to go to the extreme with this (like hiring a chef or a laundry maid…or you might) but you can be selective with allowing others to help you!!

If you struggle to clean your house and can afford it, hire a cleaning service once a month. If you need help with your kids, ask a friend to watch them or hire a sitter. If you can’t seem to figure out a good system for organizing but you have a friend who is good at it, ask a friend to give you some tips. If a friend sees you struggling and offers to bring you a meal, LET HER!

Accepting help does not mean you are weak! Give yourself grace and the permission to accept help when you need it most.

10. Worry About The Most Important And Let The Small Stuff Go

I wish someone had told me this sooner. But maybe it takes experiencing hard things to learn this lesson. I know when I was younger I got uptight about a lot more things than I do now. The lesson of “letting the small stuff go” can be applied in almost any area of your life!

Focus on the things you have control over. We spend so much time agonizing over things we can not change and it leads to increased stress and anxiety. If we are stressed about he uncontrollable, we are not mentally present and available for the things that we do have influence over.

Ask yourself if it will matter a month from now. Sometimes when we are close to a situation it feels big because we haven’t thought about the bigger picture. Do your best to step back and think about it with a long term perspective because doing so often alters our feelings on things.

Keep in mind you will not have every area of your life running smoothly at all times! You can, however, do little things to improve your life as a whole in order to Mostly Thrive!

What have you done that has helped calm your home? Comment below with your tips for maintaining a more peaceful home!

Melissa Emerson

Hi! I’m Melissa Emerson, a wife, a mom of four, and author of Mostly Thriving. I am passionate about helping others thrive in their homes, in their motherhood and in their self-confidence. I know that to thrive we have to continue to learn every day. I promise to be real, vulnerable and authentic as we learn together how to live a life that’s Mostly Thriving.

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