How reality TV impacted my thoughts and what I did about it

I am embarrassed to say that I used to love to watch drama-filled reality TV shows. Like, a lot. My life seemed pretty boring compared to the fights that would ensue from a rumor that so-and-so started, or the birthday parties that had acrobats, pony rides, power wheels as party favors and hundreds of guests which looked more like a wedding than a child’s party. Watching the drama unfold, getting a glimpse into the lives of the rich and famous, and even seeing an ordinary housewife’s life intrigued me and I was hooked. I mean, everyone has a guilty pleasure, right?

One show I particularly loved, follows a group of wealthy women while they shop for Prada and Versace, have lunch at the fanciest of places, go to (what feels like nightly) social events and spend time with their kids (who are taken care of by nannies). They spend a lot of time arguing, obsessing over small things, worrying about what they look like and who they should impress. It actually looks really exhausting.

I started watching innocently while folding laundry or when I wanted to just lay down for a quick “rest” during my kid’s nap time. There was nothing else on during the day. And the drama is really interesting to watch. I thought that I could enjoy this show just as an observer because after all, I didn’t live that way, act that way or even condone that sort of behavior. Why not just observe?

But after awhile, without even realizing it, I started having thoughts of self-doubt. I compared my life to these worldly and drama-filled women’s lives that I truly never wanted to be like or look like. Despite knowing this, their influence was infiltrating my thoughts.

After a bit of self-reflection, I decided it was not healthy for me to watch any of these shows anymore. Not only was it causing me to have negative mental thoughts, I realized that God wanted me to focus on things that are uplifting, pure and that ultimately remind me of who I am as His daughter.

Now, don’t miss the point. I am not sitting here telling you that you shouldn’t watch any reality tv shows. And you also may be thinking how ridiculous that some rich ladies on tv would cause me to doubt my reality. I agree with you. It was dumb. This personal realization that the entertainment I was putting into my head was affecting my thoughts was a wakeup call that knew I couldn’t ignore.

I actually ignored this nagging feeling that I shouldn’t be indulging in this particular tv show anymore. But that feeling never went away. And for good reason.

Our identity is altered and influenced by the things we are exposed to, whether it be facebook/instagram, tv shows, movies, TikTok, a group of friends, the internet or anything else. When we allow these things to influence us, we lose sight of our identity as defined by God. His plan and design for our lives is that we would focus our minds, our thoughts, and our actions on Him because there are many other things vying for our attention.

I can tell you that now, I fill my “free” time with things that are more up lifting. I am much more particular about what I allow to influence me and therefore also am careful about the types of tv shows I indulge in. And I find that I don’t struggle with these same thoughts of insecurity nearly as often.

Phillipians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

The things you are exposed to affect the way you see yourself. We may know who God says we are, but are we reinforcing that idea by the influences in our lives?

Think through your current life situation. Are there things in your life you are allowing to influence who you believe you are? Are you comparing yourself to those you see on social media? Are you secretly (or subconsciously) measuring yourself up to the people you see on TV? Are you exposing yourself to things that are not uplifting or helpful to you?

You deserve to be reminded every single day that you are loved and that you are enough!

My prayer is that you would always remember who you are in Christ, that the influences you have in your life may be positive and uplifting, and that anything that may be destroying your self-worth may be made clear to you. You can live a life that’s Mostly Thriving, one choice at a time.

Melissa Emerson

Hi! I’m Melissa Emerson, a wife, a mom of four, and author of Mostly Thriving. I am passionate about helping others thrive in their homes, in their motherhood and in their self-confidence. I know that to thrive we have to continue to learn every day. I promise to be real, vulnerable and authentic as we learn together how to live a life that’s Mostly Thriving.

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