The Mom I Am vs. The Mom I Want To Be

I know that most moms love their children with their whole heart and want them to grow into happy and thriving adults. While most of us would not call ourselves superheroes, let’s just take a moment to admit we juggle a lot! We part the seas to make sure our children have what they need to get through each day, each phase and each season of life. It is our mission as moms to love our children even when they might not be super lovable.

So with that in mind, let’s take a quick poll: Raise your hand if the mom you WANT to be is different than the reality of the mom that you ACTUALLY are!

…oh you too?

Whew.

Sometimes I believe the lie that I am the only one who tries and fails time and time again to be this “perfect” version of a mom!

In my mind I am a super patient, always caring, constantly kind and full of self-control kind of mom. (Galatians 5:22-23) In my head I will be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19) My desire is to not cause my children frustration but rather to point them closer to Jesus through my actions and through my reactions. (Ephesians 6:4)

But honestly, I fall short all. the. time.

I randomly find little notes around the house, on my desk or by my bed that my kids write me that say things like, “You’re the best mom EVER!” or “I love you mommy”. Before my kids were old enough to write, they would give me hugs and snuggle in my lap. Kids love us despite our own “failures” as moms. They just want you to keep on trying, learning and growing.

I know the Bible says that God will produce in me a reflection of Him for others to see; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control. But this cannot possibly happen in our own strength!

It’s taken me awhile to understand this but I now know that I have to ask God every. single. day to give me a renewed strength, a renewed patience and trust in Him to carry me through where I as a mom fall short.

When I yell at my kids, provoke them in anger or fail to show them the best version of myself, it gives God space to show them what grace looks like. But we have to start with having grace for ourselves.

If you are struggling as a mom to be the kind of mom you envision yourself to be, take a step back and ask yourself if you are trying to do it all yourself or if you are allowing God to give you HIS love, HIS patience, HIS kindness and HIS self-control. We will never get it right 100% of the time and we aren’t supposed to. We learn from failing. So do our children.

God gave you your children because he was confident that YOU would have what it takes, in partnership with Him, to raise your kids and point them to Jesus. Allow God to fill you up and encourage you daily by praying and reading His word. And a few Christ-centered friends are always important too as you navigate this journey of motherhood.

I am praying that you feel encouragement and comfort knowing that it’s okay to not be a perfect mom! You were never meant to be in the first place!

About Author

Melissa Emerson

Hi! I’m Melissa Emerson, a wife, a mom of four, and author of Mostly Thriving. I am passionate about helping others thrive in their homes, in their motherhood and in their self-confidence. I know that to thrive we have to continue to learn every day. I promise to be real, vulnerable and authentic as we learn together how to live a life that’s Mostly Thriving.

mostlythriving.com